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2009-11-29T06:28:00.000-08:00

This site will cease to exist on January 1st, 2011. Please refer to mysteryboy.wordpress.com

Prayer for Thanksgiving Day

2009-11-26T18:14:00.000-08:00

Give us this day our daily bread, O Father in heaven, and grant that we who are filled with good things from Your open hand, may never close our hearts to the hungry, the homeless, and the poor; in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

(From the abbey of New Clairvaux, Viña, California)

Advent Take-Over

2009-11-23T18:13:00.000-08:00

This was included in a recent issue of my church's newsletter.

Thanksgiving is the starting pistol for the Holiday Season. Black Friday, the first day of the year that many department stores turn a profit, gives us the gift of great deals; we can also feel a little less guilty about listening to our Christmas music.

Before you take out Nat King Cole, consider how Thanksgiving gives you the opportunity to be prepared in heart, mind, and soul for the season of Advent. On that day we stuff ourselves with tryptophan, watching parades and football games (fútbol if you're in Ecuador). We spend time with family as we relax and cherish the day. Most of all, we give thanks for these things and more.

This special holiday is an excellent way to start Advent, though it's a few days early. What better way to await the coming of the Christ-child than with a thankful heart?

Thanksgiving isn't the only holiday you can tack on to this exciting season. Advent is a special time full of many opportunities for celebration that we often ignore, only setting our sights on the Big Day.

Saint Nicholas' Day is on December 6, the second Sunday of Advent this year. Saint Nicholas of Myra (in modern-day Turkey) was orphaned after his wealthy parents were killed by an epidemic. He inherited their fortune and decided to give it to the poor, the sick, and children. This generous man went through hard times as Emperor Diocletian imprisoned him for his Christian faith. He emerged years later, a skinnier man, and this bishop continued his expedition of giving. On December 6, as you light the second Advent wreath candle, think of Saint Nicholas, and let the spirit of giving warm your heart and encourage you to implement similar practices in your own life. Matthew 6:20 says "Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal." Our gifts are meant to be spent, not hoarded. We should be good stewards with our possessions. In Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster writes that when we view each of our possessions as gifts cared for by God, and if we offer everything we have to everyone we know, we will possess a greater gift: freedom from anxiety.

On December 21, the first day of Christmas vacation for many students, remember Thomas the disciple. For the Roman Catholic Church and the Anglican Communion, this is his actual feast day. As you might remember, he is the disciple who at first doubted Jesus returned after the resurrection. Use this day to turn outward, thinking, praying, and ultimately discerning what is happening outside of your life. Then try to see what God has been teaching you that you may not have seen before. Doubting Thomas is also sometimes known as Thomas the Believer because of when he turns around to exclaim "My Lord and My God!" (John 20:28) Widen your perspective on this day, and try to see the Lord at work in more places.

Finally, the day after Christmas, Boxing Day for some, is also Stephen's Day. In Acts, he becomes the first Christian martyr as he is stoned to death for proclaiming his beliefs (Acts 7:60). As you clean up your home, and as you wear your new clothing or watch those new DVDs, remember amidst all of the plenty that there are those who suffer greatly. Many of them do it so that you may have that joy and freedom.

Celebrating these in your heart, along with available Advent devotionals, will make this season even greater for you and yours; you'll have a humble, thankful heart ready to "Live out the kingdom now, and celebrate every day for the miracle it is" (Matthew 24:36-44 )

Adventures in Teaching

2009-11-21T10:22:00.000-08:00

“Good morning Teacher”, fifth-grader Luis says to me every morning when he greets me in my new classroom and asks me how to say different random words in English. The truth, I'm discovering, is that these students, the ones above grade two at least, are interested in learning English. With all the difficulties I've had trying to manage a classroom, they are interested, and they have learned something.

Sure, many are intrigued by malas palabras (bad words) in English; I even indulge them sometimes to diffuse the novelty, explaining in a very academic way, the significance of these bad words that they already know. Although they are most excited by all things taboo, every once and awhile I'm able to provide a lesson that excites them.

One day, I explained that my friend Jude from the United States would be here in December. That day, I asked them if they wanted to be able to converse with him. After an enthusiastic “yes, Teacher!” I led them into a lesson on basic introductions and greetings.

Another day, some of the students in fourth grade were planning a baseball game for the next day's recess. They discussed uniforms, and then, because I was tired of disciplining at the end of the day, I let them play in the classroom—don't worry, it was Nerf. Even I could recognize that they had terrible form, so I taught them how to throw, catch, and swing a bat with what knowledge I have. I did all of this in English, and they demonstrated comprehension of basic verbs and nouns of baseball.

On that same day, a student in seventh grade tried to tickle me, but after years of being tickled by Uncle Travis, my nerves are apparently dead. I told my students that I was mostly robotic. They pulled on the skin of my arms and believed me for a solid five minutes. I taught them the words “gullible” and “liar.”

Even though this job is riddled with frustration, it has its rewards, like these spontaneous lessons. Also, as I mentioned earlier, I got my own classroom this week. Part of my dilemma with classroom management was that I had to haul my stuff around, class to class, every forty minutes. Whenever I would enter a class, their other teacher would leave, and I believe they perceived this as a break from discipline. To add to that, I have dozens of English posters and ideas for bulletin boards, but I had no classroom in which to put them.

So two weeks ago I asked Eduardo if I could have the biblioteca (or library). He said “yes” and with swiftness he acquired for me a whiteboard (that is double-sided and flips around) a very large desk, and 22 student desks. Sure the floorboards are warped, the paint is dirty and chipped, the false wall is crooked, and it shares another wall with the bathroom, but it's my classroom, and it is so beneficial for their learning.

It's also beneficial for students when their teacher possesses copies of their books. After eleven weeks, I stumbled upon the books I've been waiting for in a storage room—the books I've been told were either on their way or not yet ordered . . . in that order. A couple students were also in need of these books, so I quickly distributed. This situation has been one source of frustration partly because of the dishonesty and lack of consideration for me as a teacher, but mostly because we have had the ability for the last 3 months to give these students a better quality of English instruction, yet for some reason it was just easier to not walk down to the storage room. I won't go any further with this one here.

One area of frustration I am willing to go into more is the great difficulties I've had with my students and their collective work ethic. I mentioned that they are interested, yet it only seems to be when they don't have to do any work. It is nearly impossible to get about half of my students to do anything in class (not an exaggeration), yet when I send them home with work, it comes back in perfect handwriting, completed to perfection. I look at the paper and wonder what his/her mom's/dad's handwriting looks like. Many of the children spend 20 minutes of class sharpening their pencils and asking to go to the bathroom. When I get them seated and have work for them, they wear a bored expression and tap their VERY sharp pencils on their desks. I was talking to one of my adult clergy members about this observation. I believe he has observed some children and students from the United States, and his theory is that usually there is a complete lack of independence in children here compared to those in the States. Their parents cook and clean (chores don't exists much), everything is perfectly prepared for them (including their homework) and they aren't taught to have much of a work ethic until much later in life. Most children live with their parents through college and even a bit beyond, all the while being treated much the same way. It isn't until marriage that it changes, and even then, who knows? I believe this theory typifies what is called Arrested Development, of course this is from one conversation based on one man's opinion; so keep that in mind. This topic reminds me of a book I read not too long ago called Do Hard Things by two brothers who speak out against the idea that teenagers have to wait until they're older to make a difference. The forward is by Chuck Norris...how could it not be good?

This theory though, is starting to make me realize what my job might actually be here. I came to teach English, yet I think if I can improve my students' willingness to learn and put effort into school, then I will have done something. Because let's be honest about the English thing, I took two years of Spanish in high school and really didn't absorb much to any great extent, so what are they going to learn from me in one year? They'll retain some vocabulary and some basic sentence structures, but if I can prepare them for their other classes and the next English teacher, what a difference that will make!

Close to four months in and I'm finally starting to see where I might make a difference. It's a good feeling, and I hope to experience some of the benefits before I prepare to leave and have that cathartic experience I keep hearing about . . . i.e. I hope my students start putting more effort into my more structured lessons. Until then, their ability go to recess is greatly affected.

Like Apples of Gold in a Setting of Silver

2009-11-06T12:19:00.000-08:00

As the power went out last night due to electricity rationing, I appropriately decided to read the "Solitude" chapter from Richard Foster's Celebration of Discipline. . .alone in the dark by candlelight, no less. Here are some interesting passages and/or quotes I pulled from it.

Settle yourself in solitude and you will come upon Him in yourself. (Teresa of Avila)

Where shall the world be found, where will the word resound? Not here, there is not enough silence. (T.S. Eliot)

Let him who cannot be alone beware of community. . . .Let him who is not in community beware of being alone. . . .One who wants fellowship without solitude plunges into the void of words and feelings, and one who seeks solitude without fellowship perishes in the abyss of vanity, self-infatuation, and despair. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

Simply to refrain from talking, without a heart listening to God, is not silence. (Richard Foster)

A day filled with noise and voices can be a day of silence, if the noises become for us the echo of the presence of God, if the voices are, for us, messages and solicitations of God. (Catherine de Haeck Doherty)

All those who open their mouths, close their eyes! (Old Proverb)

It is easier to be silent altogether than to speak with moderation. (Thomas á Kempis)

There is "a time to keep silent and a time to speak." (Ecclesiastes 3:7)

A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in a setting of silver. (Proverbs 25:11)

Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven, and you upon earth; therefore let your words be few. (Ecclesiastes 5:2)

If we are silent, who will take control? God will take control, but we will never let him take control until we trust him. Silence is intimately related to trust. (Richard Foster)

Real silence, real stillness, really holding one's tongue comes only as the sober consequence of spiritual stillness. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

Much that is unnecessary remains unsaid. But the essential and the helpful thing can be said in a few words. (Dietrich Bonhoeffer)

Goals are discovered, not made. (Richard Foster)

Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not for what they say. (Thomas Merton)

Listen to God's speech in his wondrous, terrible, gentle, loving, all-embracing silence. (Catherine de Haeck Doherty)

Exactly 6 weeks without getting sick...again

2009-11-04T07:06:00.000-08:00

To the day, six weeks after my run-in with some uncooked pork, I came down with more bacteria-related illness.

The culprit? Snails from the river. They call them churos (not the sweet Mexican thing with cinnamon). They were kind of like an Ecuadorian escargot, and I ate 20 of them.

The next day I got very VERY sick around 10am. It the pain, vomiting, diarrhea went on and around 2 I decided to do something. With my sister Erika's help, two paramedics came to the apartment, checked me out, gave me an IV of saline and told me to rest and drink Gatorade

I was doing better until about 6:30, when all of the symptoms of nausea, dizziness, and numbness in my hands, arms, and face came back. At 8 I decided I needed to go to a hospital. I called Chris and Trish, and Trish came quickly to take me to the Hospital Metropolitano.

The hospital was nice and as good as any American hospital. We were there from about 8:30 to 1am as the nurses and doctors did blood tests...etc. They perscribed three medications: Cipro, Buscapina, and Digespar.

The cost of everything? The visit, the nurse's and doctor's time? The medicine? $80.32. If you add in the cost of the paramedics who came to my house, it comes to $80.32...because it was free...because they are paid for with taxes...

So my four-day weekend has quickly turned into a six-day weekend. I'm sitting at home, eating toast and more Gatorade.

"Holidays" Weekend

2009-11-03T05:48:00.000-08:00

The Ecuadorians sure know how to celebrate holidays. This weekend, October 31 - November 2, we celebrated four holidays.

1) Dia de las Brujas (Day of the Witches, or Halloween). Halloween is not very big here since its origins are not in the Spanish or indigenous traditions. Still, some of my friends had Halloween parties with costumes. Many restaurants and bars have similar parties. I think most of this is from the strong American influence in Quito.

2) Dia de los Santos Todos (All Saints Day). I didn't witness a huge amount of ceremony/ritual, but we did walk into a church in Cotacatchi where they were having a special All Saints service.

3) Dia de los Funtos, or Muertos (Day of the Dead). THIS is the big holiday. Most families gather for fellowship and to honor their deceased relatives. They go to the grave(s) and place flowers.

In Cotacatchi, people leave business cards or little notes to show the families that they were there. The indigenous people gather in the morning to eat food around the grave, say prayers, and tell stories.

Instead of regular flowers, they place paper flowers around the graves. The family and I spent 2 days in Cotacatchi to visit the grave of Marjory's parents.

4) Dia de la Independencia de Cuenca (Independence Day, city of Cuenca). Ecuador celebrates the independence of the country and every major city. Cuenca, a city I haven't yet visited, is supposed to be beautiful with large churches and beautiful scenery.

Check out my Picasa Photo Albums to the upper right for many more pictures and stories from this weekend.

The Widow-Maker

2009-10-24T09:10:00.000-07:00

I have been contemplating how to write about some of the more uncomfortable or frustrating parts of my life in Quito. While I've been blessed with a great host family and some delicious, nutritious food, there are parts of living in Ecuador that I usually only spill on Skype to some of my friends.

It is important for the integrity of this blog that I don't coat every experience with sugar, which can be my problem sometimes. I want to be honest about my experience, so come and join me as I contradict the video I posted awhile ago about how unhappy everyone is, despite our amazing technical advances, and so on.

The Widow-Maker
This is the shower head I use every morning. My impression is that they are very typical in South America. Many people cannot afford real water heaters, so they buy these shower heads that heat the water right as it is coming over your head. As you can see, there are many exposed wires and a switch merely a foot from the water source. My father said his electrician friend, Charlie, commented on the shower heads during their trip to Peru. They certainly don't pass US standards, and I'm not sure if they have any standards here. Suffice to say, I am very cautious about splashing water around during my shower.

Of course, aside from the danger-element, is the fact that the temperature of your water depends entirely on the water pressure. Water pressure seem to be terribly inconsistent wherever you go. When the pressure is adequate, the heater doesn't work because the water passes through the head to fast to be heated. Then, when the pressure decreases suddenly, the water scolds your entire body. The South American Shower should be an Olympic event.

South American Time
Many told me about this alternative view of time. I was excited to be in a place where the people you were with were more important than your obligations. I'm discovering that this version of SAT, while possibly true in other parts of South America, or even Ecuador, is not true in my experience. It seems that people are mostly relaxed about my time. If I have an obligation--Spanish lessons, work at the diocesan office, lunch, they are mostly ignored and I end up without time and lunch. I find this frustrating because while they are relaxed about where I need to be, *they are ever impatient with their own commitments.

*in order to keep some anonymity, I'm using "they," but know that my observations don't apply to all Ecuadorians by any means.

It is also apparently not important that a teacher have his/her books. Every week I've asked for my books. Every week I've been told "next week." For a first year teacher who looks about as old as most of his students' older brothers, not having my material has been difficult. I think God might even be irritated at this eight-week delay. I'm not even sure he would buy the "in Your time" comment. Would God say "don't patronize me?"

Noise of the City

The female street vendors - These poor women try to make their living by selling fruit, candy, and newspapers in the streets. To make themselves known, they must scream. The voice is loud enough to wake you up, block out your music and television, and it sounds a bit like an air raid siren in the way every word starts soft and crescendos to a squeal.

The gas tank guys - Similarly, men in trucks drive by constantly honking their peculiar-sounding horns so everyone can by the gas tanks needed to power an oven.

Horns - You honk when you back up. You honk when you go through an intersection. You honk when the light turns green (just in case someone is asleep).

The Mariscal-Sucre International Airport - This is Quito's airport (for about one more year while they finish the new one outside of the city). It is in the dead-center of Quito. Whenever a jet takes off, you MUST halt all conversations and teaching to wait for tranquility.

I've had to adjust to city-life in this way. Perhaps I am just too used to the peace of the forest I was raised in or the quaint suburbs where my parents currently reside. Needless to say, I may go insane when I move back home and achieve peace and quiet.

So what am I learning?

PATIENCE, I'm finding, is absolutely necessary for many parts of this life--especially in the classroom.

OPTIMISM is something I thought I perfected, but I'm learning how to be positive all over again.

And DEDICATION in the midst of these minor frustrations, a difficult language barrier with my students especially, and the lack of a piano--my former method of relieving all stresses.

So there we have it, patience, optimism, and dedication. Sounds like what you might find on an inspirational poster.

Thoughts on Prayer

2009-10-20T16:49:00.000-07:00

I'm lacking creativity as I cherish my week with free afternoons.

These are some words by others on prayer that stick out to me. Many are collected from Celebration of Discipline by Richard Foster. I highly recommend this book. Buy it on Amazon.

The picture is one that I remember from my grandparents house.

Prayer

Early will I seek thee. (Psalm 63:1 KJV)

Prayer—secret, fervent, believing prayer—lies at the root of all personal godliness. (William Carey)

The false notion that we are to thank God for everything has caused immeasurable pain and damage to many Christians. (Marva Dawn)

And in the morning, a great while before day, he rose and went to a lonely place, and there he prayed. (Mark 1:35)

God does nothing but in answer to prayer. (John Wesley)

We are "colaborers with God." We are working with God to determine the outcome of events. (Paraphrased 1 Corinthians 3:9)

Perhaps the most astonishing characteristic of Jesus' praying is that when he prayed for others he never concluded by saying "if it be thy will." (Richard Foster)

Prayer is to religion what original research is to science. (P.T. Forsythe)

Our prayer is to be like a reflex action to God's prior initiative upon the heart. (Richard Foster)

Coincidences occur much more frequently when I pray. (Paraphrased from Archbishop William Temple)

Come like children to a father. (Jesus)

Everything is Amazing, and Nobody's Happy

2009-10-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

My mom sent this clip to me before she used it in one of her classes. I love it when comedians actually point out something worth pointing out.

Everything's Amazing and Nobody's Happy - Louis C.K. on Conan O'Brien

10/08/09 Feliz Cumpleaños, indeed!

2009-10-09T18:48:00.000-07:00

Like every day before, I jumped out of bed at 5:59, one minute before my alarm was set to sound a now-familiar island tune. I was greeted with hugs from Marjory and Rafael, and a rousing rendition of "Cumpleaños Feliz" from Eduardo. Of course, today I got to dress rather casual, because the whole school was bound for Puembo, a city East of Quito. They had planned a special picnic for the students on a farm owned by the Episcopal Church. Three volunteers from a university in Quito came along to lead some games.

Before we loaded on the bus, word spread that it was my birthday. My students were very excited, and very sweet, and greeted me with many wishes for a happy birthday. Marcia, a seventh-grader, gave me a nice key chain, and Ali, my cousin and another seventh-grader at the school, had made a candle for me, which was accompanied by lots of delicious chocolates. Camila, yet another seventh-grader, gave me some more candy, while a fifth-grader, Steve, who speaks English fairly well promised to buy me an Xbox game since I told him I have a 360 in the States. Don't worry though, they're only a dollar here.

After a tour of the farm and some games, the whole school sang Happy Birthday in Spanish and then in English. I had a chance to talk with the volunteers during lunch. They spoke English and wanted me to speak it, but I kept using Spanish, or at least Spanglish. One of them was studying French and continued to speak Spench. It was quite a conversation.

After some time, we returned to the cathedral where the other professors surprised me with a cake. They also sang "Cumpleaños Feliz," and had me take a bite out of the entire cake, which I guess is a tradition here.

Eduardo and I went home to another lunch of hamburger (no bun), papas fritas (homemade french fries), avocado and tomato. I can only assume this dish was picked to make me feel more at home. EVERYONE thinks that all Americans eat is hamburgers. We need to do something about this people!

Rosa, my Spanish tutor arrived at 3, but I told her we'd have a brief lesson because another present was coming over Skype at 4:30. After 8 days of practically no communication, Jude was able to call. Enough said.

I also talked to my aunt Karen, who shares the October 8th birthday (along with Chevy Chase and Matt Damon).

While I was going through some pictures of the day, Patty and her daughter (neighbors from downstairs) called out "Andrecito" and presented me with a chocolate cake. We ate it the next morning for breakfast. Delicious.

Pablo and Erika came over with loads of food, and Camila and Amelia, of course. They barbecued chicken, pork, and two kinds of sausage up on the roof. I ate all of the above along with corn-on-the-cob, potatoes, and a salad of tomatoes and avocados.

Tomorrow is Rafa's birthday, so I'll return from my first night of house-sitting for Chris and Trish, who are in the United States for a couple weeks, tomorrow for another, probably smaller birthday celebration.

Imagine No Religion

2009-10-07T18:55:00.000-07:00

By Donald Schell
Borrowed from a note on the Facebook's "The Episcopal Cafe."

Until yesterday morning, those billboard and bus signs had only annoyed me. I hated their cartoonish stained glass background and the smug large letters of the message. Of course, I also heard John Lennon’s line, ‘…and no religion too.’ Why’d Lennon have to add that? Then truthfully, somewhere in the back of my mind, I also thought, “Sorry, John, religion’s my work. You did your job; I’ll do mine,” but I hated that. I do not welcome my inner priest voice defending the religion business.

After seeing it so many times, this time I dropped my protest and simply read the “Freedom From Religion” ad as an invitation and got to work imagining.

Okay. ‘Imagine no religion.’ So, no Shakespeare. Ouch.

Biking through the traffic, I though of Karl Barth and Rene Girard. Both argue that what we practice is no religion at all because Jesus refuses to tell us how to get our way with God and won’t bind us into stultifying groupthink. Good thoughts, but I was co-opting the billboard message. The red light stopped me, and I told myself no fancy dodges, no letting myself off the hook with religionless Christianity. What would be good riddance if we had no religion? I pedaled on.

No Spanish Inquisition.

No witch trials in Europe or Salem.

No Catholic-Protestant struggle in Northern Ireland.

No Serbia-Croatian War.

No Buddhists and Hindus fighting in Sri Lanka.

No 9/11? (but what warped Islam to get those guys flying the planes into the Twin Towers?)

The bus caught up with me at the next light. As I waited by the sign, I considered faces looking out the window above it. “Imagine No Religion.” Their minds were elsewhere. The light changed to green and pressed on.

No Religious Right.

No religious scorn for my gay friends.

No Aztec human sacrifice on the Pyramid of the Sun…but the sacrifices were done. So, just no Pyramid of the Sun. I remembered climbing it when I was fifteen.

I was pedaling uphill now.

No Genesis story of Ham to justify slavery.

Pushing my speed up on the hill, I thought again of Shakespeare. The imagining cuts both ways. What would we miss without religion? Immediately I noticed how personal this list was. What would make my world smaller without religion? The list is more idiosyncratic. What’s your list? Comments welcome! Here’s mine from the bike ride -

No Hagia Sophia in Istanbul,

No Bach Cantatas or Mozart’s Requiem,

No Gandhi,

No Peace Prize for Desmond Tutu, and no Truth and Reconciliation Commission,

No St. Francis,

No Teresa of Avila outwitting the Inquisition while she taught us how to be friends with God in holy community,

No Franciscan Third Order giving serfs religious basis to refuse their overlord’s call to war against neighboring dukedoms.

No Hospitals? At least we know Christians, Buddhists, and Muslims founded the first ones to care for the sick and indigent poor.

And Shakespeare? So am I certain Will Shakespeare was a Christian and that his glorious work speaks faith? I sense our faith in his plays, but some people don’t. But there’s no question that the Bishops’ Bible and Coverdale Psalter sparked his language.

No end to slavery? Ah, tricky one. Yes, religious justifications helped sustain slavery, but it was virtually universal in human history until priest and then bishop Bartolome de Las Casas made his heroic effort to outlaw it in Spain’s New World colonies. Like many good stories of religion, this one began in a muddle. Las Casas came to Cuba as young nobleman where, as a slaveholding landowner he surprised himself and his friends by becoming a priest, and when his prayers made him see the plight of his Indio sisters and brothers, he freed his own slaves and crossed the Atlantic almost a dozen times to convince King Philip II to do what no other monarch had ever done, outlaw slavery.

And our abolitionists? Two hundred years after Las Casas, Anglican Deacon Thomas Clarkson wouldn’t stop pushing, teasing, cajoling, demanding the church’s and Parliament’s repentance for the English slave trade. Clarkson plagued William Wilberforce when he gave up the fight. He berated John Newton and the Archbishop of Canterbury for the profits they made on the trade. He more or less invented community organizing, and in forty years got England to outlaw first the trade and then slavery itself. But bitter with the church’s long resistance he more or less became a Quaker.

I reached home out of breath from riding up the hill and parked my bike in the garage.

“Imagine no religion.”

No mystical poets. No Juan de la Cruz, no Emily Dickinson, no T.S. Eliot, no Mary Oliver, no Ephrem the Syrian, no Hildegard von Bingen.

Through the day I kept coming back to the billboard’s request.

Late morning I recalled 20th Century violence done in the name of Non-Religion. I decided a low death score in a Religion vs. No Religion doesn’t win any contest. Evenhanded remembering only gets to this – we’ve all got blood on our hands.

Just how do we imagine the dark side of this?

Dostoyevsky did it clipping news stories of the worst and cruelest things people did to other people. Believing Christ was drawing the whole world into God’s embrace, he felt the song of praise ready to spring even from humanity’s worst, but could he trust that without acknowledging Readers – what would break your heart if we had no religion?

After lunch I remembered my widowed parishioner in Idaho who always brought a roast to our midweek Eucharist and potluck, saving up from her social security check to share something delicious with her friends. Communion.

Communion again holding the hand of the comatose, dying unbeliever, the father of two young children. “Even in coma, people hear,” I’d thought, so, speaking slowly with a confidence that came from something beyond me, I said he could continue loving his wife and daughters, but it was time to let go, and the next moment he took one long, last breath and died.

By the end of the day this priest was thanking the Freedom From Religion Foundation. FFRF’s invitation to imagine “no religion” puts us right back to the mystery of why we choose faith. Mixed bag? Amen! Religion has inspired the very best and much of the worst of who we.

In the end remembered sweet moments of falling in love with Jesus again.

Keep our eyes open Lord Jesus. Make us truthful and humble. Show us how to repent of what we’ve done in your Name and make us grateful for what you do in, for and with us and for all humanity.

The Rev. Donald Schell, founder of St. Gregory of Nyssa Church in San Francisco, is President of All Saints Company.

The Mystery Behind Door Number One

2009-10-02T08:52:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow night marks exactly two months in Ecuador. It's hard to believe I've been here that long, and that I've completed four weeks of teaching English to 70-some children.

It has not been easy. Like most, or all teachers, I've faced a number of students who have absolutely no desire to learn, no craving for the English language, and no respect for me as their teacher. To make things worse, let's not forget that I am attempting to instruct them only in English. In the beginning of the school year, a few of the younger students even cried because they couldn't understand me. I quickly learned how to simplify my language and use more actions than words. I learned to slow things down, and let the children work as a group to figure out what I was saying.

Two kindergartners like to say "molestoso" when I walk into the room. This means that I am there to bother them. In truth, I think they are their to bother me. As are the numerous other students who quarrel, chase each other around the room, and refuse to do any work whatsoever. They are there to bother me and test me.

A few weeks ago I sifted through my friend Rosie's mind for tips and tricks for managing classrooms. One major success has been the threat to take away recess, or "recreo." Once each class loses a recess, I think they'll start to behave. It has already worked with the fifth grade, though not with the seventh because some of the girls wish to stay with me anyway. Aren't student-teacher crushes adorable?

I've made the students accountable to each other by saying that even if one student misbehaves, the whole class suffers. They have quite a few chances (as many times as their are letters in the word "recess") before they lose it. This makes the 7th grade boys quite angry when the girls intentionally misbehave.

I've also found that rewarding them with games at the end of the week or a Michael Jackson song at the end of class can make them VERY attentive.

Aside from these struggles, it has been exciting to be the cool, young teacher who wears sunglasses, teaches Thriller, and does magic tricks. I receive constant "Hello Teacher"'s on the playground before, during, and after school. The parents are also very excited for their kids to have a true English speaker with them for the entire year. It is difficult for children to have consistent learning when they go through four teachers in one year, as they did last year. This, of course, is not to begrudge the work of teachers past. I have heard many wonderful things about them all, the only negative one being that they couldn't have stayed longer.

This school and diocese has really welcomed me with open-arms, and many are committed to my happiness this year.

Also committed to this is my family: Eduardo and Marjory, and Rafael (amongst the numerous other cousins, aunts, uncles . . . etc. They have become a family to me. Initially, it felt as if I was staying in a kind of bed and breakfast; but in two months, people grow on you. You become a part of the life of the family. This, of course, doesn't come with out some struggles and minor frustrations. As we all can attest to, minor annoyances often occur when we spend a lot of time with our parents, or with anybody for that matter. More than these annoyances is the love that abounds in their willingness to house me, feed me, and immerse me in the culture of Ecuador.

To be perfectly honest, my situation is incredibly lush--especially compared to some of my counterparts in the Young Adult Service Corps. (Please check out THEIR blogs with the links to the right. If you are reading this on Facebook, go to my blog to see these links.)

It has actually been a bit troubling to associate myself with these brave friends of mine who shower with buckets of cold water, live in abysmal conditions, and encounter dangerous, sometimes violent situations constantly. It has made me constantly question my worth as a mission partner. I live in a nice apartment with wonderful people. Marjory, cooks lunch from scratch every day with all-natural ingredients. She has only repeated one or two dishes in two months. We have a housekeeper, Maria, who cleans my room, makes my bed, washes and irons ALL of my clothing. Have you ever put on a pair of freshly ironed underwear? I shower with hot water every day. The climate of Quito, while a bit polluted, is very comfortable. And to top that off, we have wireless internet that allows me to blog whenever I want.

I have been very blessed with all of these people and accommodations.

So while I've grappled with this issue of associating myself with such courageous people; Jude and Mallory in Haiti, to name a few, I've had a substantial increase in my own prayer life--mostly for them. I've been wondering what the great purpose of this year is for me. Why has God called me to Ecuador? What lessons will I learn in the months to come? Quito seems to be so Americanized; I feel as though I've simply graduated from college and started a career in teaching. Mission is supposed to be a truly life-altering experience. Mission is supposed to be really difficult. Mission is supposed to be what drives us always, at home and abroad.

When I spoke at my church in July, I said that I thought I heard God knocking on a door, the Ecua-door, if you will. What lied in Ecuador was a mystery, and it still is. David Copley, of YASC, forwarded the words of Arch Bishop of Canterbury, Rowan Williams to all of us in the field. (Link to full message)

He sites Acts 16: 6-7: They went through the region of Phrygia and Galatia, having been forbidden by the Holy Spirit to speak the word in Asia. When they had come opposite Mysia, they attempted to go into Bithynia, but the Spirit of Jesus did not allow them.

Williams comments at how puzzling this passage seems to be. As we understand it today, there is no place out of God's reach. No place where the Spirit can't lead. Here it does not allow them to spread the good news in Bithynia. Williams says this, "don't waste your energy where God at this moment is not opening a door." Don't go where you aren't called.

While I've rejoiced in all of the comforts I enjoy here, I've been somewhat disappointed that I haven't had that "true missionary experience." The thing is, I wasn't called to a place where I'd have to live with the completely impoverished, with no running water or electricity. God knocked on THIS door, and I need to honor that--to open that door and welcome God into this situation, and bow to the mystery, of course.

In July, when I return to the States, I may not have seen my effect. I may not know what what difference I have made. I will most likely feel like I've gained much MUCH more than I've given. Hopefully one, some, or many of my students will be that much more affected by my presence that they will go on to be much greater than myself. Perhaps I will never know.
But then again, that is the mystery.

Rosario Anglicano para el Pueblo de Dios (Anglican Rosary for the People of God)

2009-09-25T09:17:00.000-07:00

In the office of the Episcopal Diocese of Central Ecuador, you will find a display case with clergy shirts, traditional worship music of the area, and some Anglican rosaries. These rosaries are hand-made by Reverend Juan Salvatierra in the mission parish of San Felipe, Imbabura, Ecuador.

I purchased one of these rosaries from the office because of all of the symbolic significance of the prayer tool.

The Anglican rosary, mine is made entirely of string and wooden beads, was developed in the 1980s by a group of Episcopalians who were contemplating forms of prayer. It has 33 beads: four groups of seven with single beads in-between each group. The "33" represents the number of years Jesus Christ was physically present on Earth. The groupings of seven, called "weeks," represent wholeness (See: Creation). This is a nod to Marva Dawn and other observers of the great seventh day of ceasing, resting, embracing, and feasting. (Link to a prayer I wrote based on her book)

The four single beads, or "cruciform beads" form the points of the cross when the rosary is opened into a loop-shape. When it is opened like this, the circle represents the love of God and the potential for us to live as one.

The single bead closest to the cross is called the "invitatory bead" because this is where prayer is designed to begin on the rosary. It invites us in our pains, fears, sins, and yearnings, to trust in God for courage and strength. It also invites us to share our thanksgivings

The cross, mine is a woven Latin-style, represents the level at which God is willing to sacrifice for our redemption.

While you may obviously pray however you desire (even without the assistance of a rosary, clearly), one method is praying with the beads. In this method, you start with the invitatory bead, setting the theme of the whole prayer. The weeks (sets of seven) serve as places to make requests, to seek, and to let your heart long for God. The cruciform beads serve as places to rest in between the weeks. It is customary to pray around the circle three times, though you may do more or less. When you want to conclude, you return to the invitatory bead, uttering the same prayer you began with or an expression of praise. After this, you move on to the cross to express gratitude.

It is beneficial, perhaps even crucial to not rush through the prayer; those times of rest are their specifically for silence so that you may receive. By allowing room for the Grace of the Holy Spirit, the prayer will be deepened inside of you.

As a side note, if you would like one of these hand-made rosaries from the Reverend Juan Salvatierra, please email me (curtis.farr@gmail.com) and I can bring one back when I return in July.

I went exactly 6 weeks without getting sick

2009-09-15T18:22:00.000-07:00

Yes, it happened. Maybe I ate something wrong. Maybe I accidentally drank the water. Something went awry, and I spent the morning running between my classes and the bathroom. No bueno.

After calling-in the last ten minutes of my last class by playing Michael Jackson and bracing myself in my chair, Eduardo and I returned home. He told Marjory I had diarrhea (which is the same in Spanish minus the "h," by the way) and they worked diligently to fix it. Bless their hearts, they made a tea of oregano, salt, sugar, and yeast (I think).

The tea was fine--I think the goal was to settle my stomach, which was a bit agitated. The problem was the rest of their treatment. Their method seemed peculiar to me. It was true for my cold as well: they suggested whiskey for a cold or cough...which always seemed to me like an excuse to drink whiskey since it actually depresses the system, and water can flush you out much better.

So today, when I was de-hydrated after losing a lot of liquid, you can understand I was quite frustrated to be told to only drink a "little water." I was to the point of fainting, and they were saying "poco a poco." I'm thinking "poco a poco? No THANK you. I think I'll attach my mouth to the spout of your Brita filter and guzzle down a quart or two."

I did take such initiative, had a little soup, and I took a nap until my Spanish tutor arrived.

It may not be a pretty story, but it's part of the experience--and it took up my whole day. I thought it would be a shame to leave you all in the dark.

Teacher: (noun) someone who excels in being awesome. See: phenomenon

2009-09-12T13:33:00.000-07:00

Do you know who I have respect for? Teachers.

I am one week into this school year...not even that...I'm four days in, and I do not understand how people do this for 30 years. I speak only of the physical toll it takes of course. Four days and I am exhausted. My voice is gone, my legs ache, and I panic a bit at the thought of needing lesson plans for thirty-seven more weeks.

There's no doubt, this job is tough. I teach kindergarten (age 4-5) and first-seventh grade with an average of five periods a day. I never realized how much patience and talent it takes to instruct the younger ones. It is a struggle to get their attention, and it is impossible to have everyone at one time. I'm also teaching them English at the same time they're really picking up Spanish.

The second-fifth graders are as hyperactive as you would expect 6-to-11-year-olds to be. I can manage to gather them long enough if I promise to show them one of my two magic tricks when we get the alphabet cards in order.

The sixth and seventh graders are going to be the most fun, I think. I've got them in a unit right now learning the vocabulary of Michael Jackson's Thriller. They adore his music and know songs that I had to download just so my music knowledge could be as vast as theirs. Jacko is HUGE here! Little Martin will be teaching us the dance.

Each group seems to offer its own challenges, and I simply cannot wrap my head around the amount of perseverance retired elementary teachers like my mother must have had, not to mention that she was raising a rug-rat like me.

As I said, I only mean to speak about the physical stresses. I'm already finding this job to be quite rewarding. Some students have already touched me with their courteousness toward me and each other.

I think if I can be as patient with my students as my Spanish-speaking counterparts have been with me, I will be alright.

If patience is a virtue, than teachers are the most virtuous creatures on God's green earth.

One Bread, One Body

2009-09-06T11:31:00.000-07:00

I encountered something very powerful this morning during Communion. I thought I'd share a few of my favorite quotes about the significance of this practice.

"It is a meal to be repeated to keep Christ's memory alive and to express the unity of all followers in the mystical body of Christ."

"Augustine knew that the Jesus made present in the agape meal is present in all his members."
-Garry Wills

"...in the instant of the touch there is no place for thinking, for talking; the silent touch affirms all that and goes deeper: it affirms the mysteries of love and mortality...I am sharing food with you; it is all I can do, and it is everything."
-Andre Dubus

"I am the living bread that came down from heaven."
-Jesus

"It's a betrayal of the Anglican spirit if I don't figure out how to be friends and take communion with people who hate me and everything I stand for."
-Tim Mathis

"We take the bread and dip it in the cup to remind ourselves of Jesus' body and blood. To reflect on the truth that we're all in this together, one body, and that his body is being broken and blood being spilled are for our union."
-Rob Bell

These are just a few. Please add your own thoughts and quotes if you have them. I'd love to hear.

It's Business Time

2009-09-05T10:52:00.000-07:00

"Okay," I'm telling myself. "Time to get serious. It's business time."

This coming week school starts. I've never taught in a real class before and I don't have a teaching certificate. I learned some from my teaching courses at WSU, andluckily, a certain quality needed for teaching seems to run in my veins. English is also my native language, which gives me an upper hand. ;-) I'll be honest though, I'm a little scared.

I got some encouragement yesterday, after a very successful class with the clergy. With six of them, two are the women on either side of me in the picture, I wrote The Lord's Prayer with the lines mixed-up and told them simply to "put it in order." After about 20-25 minutes, they got it. Some of the best learning happens when the students teach themselves. Thanks Barbara Monroe and Beth Buyserie!

I guess that means I don't need to go in at all. I can just let them open their text books and figure it out.

Excerpt from their textbook:

Match each sentence with the drawing.
Good morning teacher (normally wouldn't call your teacher 'teacher,' and you normally would capitalize it if you did).
Come here student (same).
Good bye white girls (okay, seriously? even 'Goodbye (one word) white girls' sounds a little...Blazing Saddles )

...Maybe it's best if I show up, just to make sure a bunch of ten-year-olds don't walk around Quito saying "Where are all the white women at?"

Comida en Ecuador

2009-09-01T09:08:00.001-07:00

I was prepared to be sick for a month.

I had no real idea of what to expect of the food in Ecuador. Would their different food safety standards affect my system? Would I rapidly shed the minuscule amount of body fat that I have?

I was pleasantly surprised when my housing situation was set in stone. Marjory Granja makes delicious food (comida). When she cooks, which was every day for the first month, she uses all natural ingredients and spends hours preparing dishes that look and taste amazing.

First I'll tell you that they view meals differently. Desayuno is around the normal time and resembles Breakfast. We have cereal or bread and cheese, some fresh fruit, and coffee. Cena is much different than dinner in the states. It is exactly like breakfast, except without fruit and tea instead of coffee. It is like this because lunch is big.

ALMUERZO (Lunch)
Working adults go home at 1:30 pm. Students are done for the day. Almuerzo is THE meal. It is a full deal with vegetables, meat, beans, rice, potatoes...

We start out with a bowl of homemade soup. The bowl pictured is a chicken and vegetable. We have corn chowders, potato soup, spinach...

After that, the main dish is served. Pictured is lamb with vegetables, rice, and avocado. I've had plenty of chicken, beef, some fish, and even some cow tongue.

We usually share a pitcher of fruit juice blended from different fresh fruits like pineapples, apples, oranges, and some that we don't have in the U.S.

Sometimes we share cerveza (beer...but you knew that). The brand of Ecuador is Pilsener. It's much lighter than the IPAs of the Pacific Northwest that I'm used to, but it is refreshing.

Sometimes Marjory makes snacks. Pictured is caca de perro (dog crap) and caca de mono (monkey crap). We had a good laugh when Erica translated it for me and I didn't know if she meant to say "shit" or not.

Of course, some days it is just better to relax and go out to the local KFC (of which there are many) and get some of the colonel.

Four Weeks

2009-08-31T05:48:00.001-07:00

A month ago I was eating a delicious pork chop at Beaches Restaurant on the Columbia River.

In a frenzy, the day before lift-off, I packed three bags full of everything I'd need for a year.

I was tearfully saying goodbye to friends and to family, wondering how the heck I got to be where I was.

The summer quickly came and left. My time at WSU (go Cougs) with my friends at Cornerstone and the Commune was over. I was in Spokane becoming a Krista Foundation colleague one minute, and the next I was in Toronto meeting other YASCers and people who would profoundly change my life. I had much to do to prepare for this year, and I hardly had time to REALLY prepare for it.

So when I arrived a month ago, it was a surprise, a shock that I was already here.

I've dealt with some homesickness and loneliness, and every time I see my empty luggage sitting on the top bunk, I think about the adventure that begins when I return and begin seminary. I've felt guilty for that because I think it is keeping me from really focusing on living here, but I'm realizing that it is all part of the process. I need to really address how much I love home before I can start to call Quito my home.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. I am so grateful for all of the support all of you who read this have given me. I truly feel it every day, and it is what's giving me strength to keep going. You are all blessings--representations of the Holy Spirit at work in my life.

I don't wish to sound like I'm not in good hands down here. I am.

Chris and Trish have been enormously supportive, as has Bishop Ruiz. My family is wonderful and caring--always asking if everything es bien. I have many comforts that some of my fellow YASCers probably don't and won't have (though that doesn't make me miss showers with good water pressure and toilets that flush paper any less).

I'm blessed to be here, and I'm getting ready to take the advice of David who said "the year will go by fast, so live it up while you're there."

Sunday at El Panecillo and the Equator

2009-08-25T15:13:00.000-07:00

Sunday, after church, Eduardo, Marjorie, Pablo, Erica, Camila, Amelia, and I squeezed in the car and went to the middle of the world. Bishop Ruiz joked that US Americans think New York City is the middle of the world, but really, it is Ecuador.

They have built a town, celebrating the division of the hemispheres. There are gift shops galore, a stage where a brass band was playing, a museum, and the most US Americans I've seen since I got here. (I even saw one wearing a Seahawks tee shirt).

We did some of the tourist things...standing in both hemispheres and I almost bought some knick-knacks at the shop on the way out.

Following that, we went to El Panecillo (translated "the little bread"). This is a volcanically created hill that houses a statue of the Virgin Mary. (I bought a handmade replica). This is also supposed to be the Woman of the Apocalypse described in the Book of Revelation. It's a large, beautiful aluminum statue that you can see wherever you go in historic Quito.

The "Bell" tolls

2009-08-22T12:01:00.000-07:00

In Velvet Elvis, Rob Bell attempts to paint an alternative perspective of scripture, tradition, and doctrine of Christianity. He does so in a way that has been often challenged by his more "fundamentalist" or "conservative" counterparts, and rightly so. He spends 177 pages arguing passionately against all of the ways certain (and many) Christians have not acted in a Christ-like manner. He is consistent in stating that he is only a contributor to this discussion, and he sequentially explains how he arrived at his conclusions--or rather, his belief in the mystery. Mystery is a huge part of faith and worship for me, and Elvis really struck a chord. It struck many chords. It played Guns n' Roses in my soul. A good friend of mine, Josh, posted this as his Facebook status: Have you ever tried to proclaim a mystery boldly? No wonder Episcopalians have a hard time with evangelism! I think many Christians have a hard time with evangelism not only because of the difficulty to proclaim a mystery boldly, but because of many things Bell analyzes in his book. My palms are burning with anxiety as I contemplate his words and how to best share them.

I'll skip to the end, but know that the whole thing is filled with juice. Buy it here.

In the Gospel of John, Mary encounters Jesus after the resurrection and thinks he is the gardener. "I love that line 'thinking he was the gardener.' It is so loaded. Jewish writers like John did things like this all the time in their writings. They record what seem to be random details, yet in these details we find all sorts of multiple layers of meaning...John tells us that Jesus is buried in a garden tomb. And Jesus is mistaken for a gardener. Something else is going on here. John wants us to see a connection between the garden of Eden and Jesus rising from the dead in a garden. There is a new Adam on the scene, and he is reversing the curse of death by conquering it. As one writer put it, 'It was impossible for death to keep its hold on him.' And he's doing it in a garden. He's reclaiming creation. He's entering into it and restoring it and renewing God's plans for the world" (156-157).

When God creates the world, he creates systems for growth, development. "It is all 'good.' Notice what God does with his 'good' creation. 'Then God said, 'let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds.' And it was so.' The next verse is significant: 'The land produced vegetation.' Notice that it doesn't say, 'God produced vegetation.' God empowers the land to do something" (157).

In the same way, God created humankind to change and grow, in many ways, including their understanding of life and God. God does not want us to get stuck in the mud, reverting to cultural norms from thousands of years ago. Jesus is evidence of that. Jesus changed things and challenged norms in a big way. He completely turned upside-down everyone's understanding of scripture. After his teachings, no one came quite as close to Truth (with a capital "T"). When we read these other books, we need to keep in focus Jesus and his focus on two commandments.

1) Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.
This, of course plays into NOT making false idols (because in the two commandments Jesus highlights, all the others are found). False idols (things that people hold of too high of importance) today include things like pornography, drugs, alcohol...etc. They also include things that can be used for good like the internet, sports, and even...gasp...the Bible. Now now, I did say that these things can be good. They often are. Obviously the Bible can be good...it has the "Good News," yes? But when we lose focus and start to idolize the written word more than we pay attention to the living word, we lose focus on God. When we forget our job as human beings, we violate this commandment. Unfortunately, in much of Christianity, this tendency has caused great mistreatment of people, which is clearly against the point. It is in complete contradiction with the second most important commandment.

2) You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
How is it that so much of Christianity is getting caught up in the ancient, culturally-bound rules when a culminating mantra for living is in the Gospel; when "Christ" is in the name of the religion! Without him and his ideas on how we should treat each other with respect and dignity, we become a bunch of snobby, frumpy, legalists. We become intolerable, and I know it isn't what God has in mind. It isn't what the word natural means. We argue our beliefs by claiming to know what is natural. We figure out what is natural by making personal choices about how to interpret the Bible. We get so caught up in OUR belief of what is natural, that we ignore what we're told to do. This happens on the individual level as well as the corporate level.
"It is when the church gives itself away in radical acts of service and compassion, expecting nothing in return, that the way of Jesus is most vividly put on display. To do this, the church must stop thinking about everybody primarily in categories of in or out, saved or not, believer or nonbeliever" (167). When we even CONSIDER these as categories, we are violating this most sacred commandment. When people said (or still say) that so-called minorities "can't" or "shouldn't" lead in the Church, be in the church, live in a certain lifestyle...

[You know what I'm talking about.]

...when people say these things, they are offending hoards of their brothers and sisters who are fighting the same fight: to live the life we believe God has for us. How dare anyone say they aren't fighting well enough. How dare anyone say someone is "living in sin." We all sin. Note: we are not sinners. Bell notes that while we sin, nowhere in the Bible does it say we should regard ourselves first and foremost as sinners (139). How can anyone have the nerve to assume they have something figured out when they might not have even struggled with the same issue? Our approach to situations where we disagree with someone on something like...oh...homosexuality, should not be an attempt to change minds.

We shouldn't pray against someone's will.
We shouldn't be egotistical and pretend that we're right.
We shouldn't disrespect that person in any way, shape, or form.

...I don't need to cite that crucial commandment again.

"We are all created in the image of God..."

WE ARE ALL CREATED IN THE IMAGE OF GOD - in case you missed it

"...and we are all sacred, valuable creations of God. Everybody matters. To treat people differently based on who believes what is to fail to respect the image of God in everyone. As the book of James says, 'God shows no favoritism.' So we don't either...Oftentimes the Christian community has sent the message that we love people and build relationships in order to convert them to the Christian faith (to OUR Christian faith). So there is an agenda. And when there is an agenda, it isn't really love, is it?...We have to surrender our agendas" (167).

A friend of mine talked about many church's goal to be a community. He basically said that to be a community, each person has to sacrifice something. Father Tom, at my home parish Good Shepherd put it this way: "Everyone has to leave something at the door." We aren't in true community if we aren't willing to accept that not everyone (maybe not anyone) will agree with us. We have to check our opinions with our coats and handbags and embrace the community. The whole community. Every brother and sister.

I write this entry at a time when I manage personal relationships at home and abroad, explaining my own struggles and dealing with the new ones. It's a time when people within my own religion, denomination, parish, and group of peers are at odds with each other about issues we find fundamental to our identities as people and as communities. It is a great time of frustration for many people, and it is a time when we all need to realize that God is here. God is always in the boat. Jesus made it, and the almighty wind of the Holy Spirit is filling the sails. We must have faith in that, and we must not lose sight of our Lord.

"Jesus taught his disciples to pray, 'May your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.' There is this place, this realm, heaven, where things are as God desires them to be. As we live this way, heaven comes here. To this place, this world, the one we're living in...For Jesus, the question wasn't, how do I get in there? But how do I bring heaven here?" (147)

What are we doing when we let hot-button issues divide us? Are we fostering a path for heaven to come to earth? Are we respecting human dignity and holding Jesus' requests with the weight that they deserve? We absolutely, without a doubt, have to reanalyze our behavior--and this goes to people on all sides of all issues. Really...it does. As we disagree, let's do something significant and live into these questions while recognizing God in every person.

...oh, and go buy Velvet Elvis.

Sacred Place

2009-08-19T07:09:00.000-07:00

Days before leaving Pullman, the home of the greatest university known to man and womankind, a good friend of mine, Gail, gave me this:

a journal she made. Each page has a quote pertaining to a sacred journey: "a feeling of longing for newness after finding oneself at a crossroads, encountering disappointment, which is inevitable on a journey, facing the choice to let go of expectations or to retreat, unexpectedly encountering the sacred," and "entering a new compassionate space."

I've written in this journal just about every day so far. It's truly a special gift, and definitely one of the things I brought that I plan on guarding intently (along with the Bible everyone at Six-Day signed, the cross necklace Fr. Tom presented to me at church, the 'courage' charm my mother gave me, Oh, the Places You'll Go! from Liz and Chris, Because of You from Julie and company, and my turtle necklace from the shop on Newberry Street that Jude got me).

Today's quote in the journal is by Phil Cousineau: "Journeys...swerve and turn, twist and double back, until we don't know if we're coming or going." I certainly can relate to the language of these words because sometimes I feel mixed up and I don't know what I'm doing next. This comes from not completely understanding the language, but last night I was sitting around the table with Eduardo, Marjorie, Rafael, Adriana, Pablo, Erica, Camilla, and Amelia and it hit me--I knew what they were talking about! I was comprehending the conversation, and I had forgotten entirely that they were speaking a different language. That was such a gift. For me, it was a first step in growing into the culture, language, and my family.
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The city has gone bonkers!
Ecuadorians are celebrating their country's Bicentenario: 200 years of independence from Spain (August 10). Crowds swarm as events are happening throughout the Centro Historico (Historic District). I had the chance to go to a concert in Plaza de San Francisco on Saturday.

We heard five bands perform, and during one (when I took the picture to the right) I surely encountered the sacred. Beautiful music filled the plaza, the sky glowed pink and blue, and I skipped to one of the last steps from Gail's present. Like Moses at the burning bush, I wanted to take off my shoes to respect the sacredness of the moment and the space (Exodus 3:2-5).

I can't truly express the beauty of this evening or this part of the city. You will have to come down and visit me to find out for yourself.
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Coming Soon...
I've had amazing food every day since I've arrived, so I've been taking pictures to post something about typical dishes in Quito.

If you haven't checked out my photos, I'm always adding more. Use the link in the top right corner of the page.

A Sabbath Prayer

2009-08-16T19:02:00.001-07:00

The following prayer is a work-in-progress that I've compiled with great help from Marva Dawn's book Keeping the Sabbath Wholly: ceasing, resting, embracing, feasting. I'm only half of the way through, but it has already been so helpful to me as I seek to create structure for my life in Ecuador.

Lord, grant me the ability to sense Your presense in all areas of my life.
May my work be a kind of worship unto You.
May I cease to control and allow You to be God.
May my anxiety be extinguished by Your holy flame.
May I use the gifts You have given me to be a faithful steward.
May I find comfort in the fulfillment that You alone can offer.
May I stop laboring to dominate and understand.
Lord, allow the peace Your spirit offers to fill my heart and mind that I may rest this day. Use this time of rest to foster new perspectives in me that enable me to greet Your day with energy and enthusiasm.
AMEN

Three Things You Need For a Year in Ecuador

2009-08-09T12:33:00.000-07:00

Well as they often do, plans changed.

Due a church-political element, I am now living with Eduardo Granja (the dean of my school and the Episcopal cathedral of Ecuador), his wife (mi madre) Margory, and my brother (hermano) Rafael. It is a good situation; they are a lovely family, and it is convenient to live with my boss. I have already become the keyboardist for Rafael´s rock band. We play "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath and I even have a solo...yes...a keyboard has a solo in a Sabbath song.

It has been both fun and frustrating as I´ve struggled with the language. On Friday morning, Eduardo, Marjory, and I set out on a vacation to the northern part of Ecuador, visiting places such as Cotacachi, Ibarra, and catching many mountain and lake views on the way. We also met many family members of Eduardo and Margory. View my picasa photo stream here for more photos and details on this trip. A permanent link is in the upper left-hand corner.

The Three Things you need...

One: Sunscreen
Sure the temperature in Quito is between 45 and 70 degrees all year, but at 9400 ft, you´ll burn before you get to your car (if you have skin like me), so apply liberally.

Two: A Spanish-English dictionary
If the only Spanish you´ve taken is two years in high school, and the only thing you can remember is that "papas fritas" are french fries, you´ll need this. I have found it very useful as I try to tell Eduardo and Margory about myself...especially when Rafael isn´t around because he speaks descent English. When he is present, he becomes a translator. Eduardo says that I am to speak to Rafael in English so he can perfect his skills, but to everyone else, I need to speak Spanish.

My "cousin" Pablo (pictured) and I had long conversations about culture around this tool. Soon, I won´t need it; tomorrow my Spanish tutor is coming for my first four-hour class.

The Third thing you need: An extra pair of shorts

I´ll be honest, my first reaction to the way people drive in Quito was not bueno. At first glance, everyone seems to be overly agressive and careless.
a typical situation: you´re doing 100km/hour on a city street; pedestrians run across at opportune moments. Cars weave in and out of their lanes, running red lights and honking to warn "I´m coming through...watch out!" People honk and get angry if you stop at a light, and sometimes they will pull on the sidewalk to pass you. Forget stopping distance and every other precaution you learned in Driver´s Ed. Needless to say, I was thrown off.
Then I was in the car with Eduardo: a gentle priest-man who doesn´t have an agressive bone in his body. He drove the same way--another cog in the machine. It really isn´t about being agressive; the priority on the road is about making good time, which they do. And everyone has amazing, cat-like reflexes. I shouldn´t generalize because the driving seems more hectic in Quito than it was in the countryside (just like driving in New York City is absurd compared to Battle Ground, Washington.

Part of this year for me is to further understand that differences don´t always come from the same line of thought. If their driving seems crazy to me, it isn´t because they didn´t learn safe habits, they just arrived at their conclusion via a different path. I bet this would "preach."

Coming Soon to Picasa...
Pictures of my apartment, Rafael, his girlfriend Adriana, my older sister Emily, her husband Pablo, and her daughters Camilla and Amilia.
Also, I posted many of our countryside visit as well as of the festivities in Quito (Ecuador is celebrating its Bicentenario--200 years of independence).

Arrival

2009-08-04T08:11:00.000-07:00

Last night around 11pm Ecuador-time my plane made the quick descent into Quito International Airport. Almost two hours later I walked through security and met Trish, my saving grace and one of my contacts who has set me up with a place to live for a good part of the year.

After some deep breathing, caused by the 9400ft altitude, I fell asleep and awoke this morning to see the vast, breath-taking city, surrounded by mountains.

I don't have much else to report now. I'm off to see the diocesan office, and eventually to move to my apartment.

Getting Closer

2009-06-15T14:12:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Toronto where I attended the Canadian Forum on Global Ministries' service orientation conference. It was an amazing time with some truly wonderful people.

I also received notification that I have raised the entire $10,000 that the Young Adult Service Corps requires of its young emissaries...and then some. I am so grateful for all of the support.

Now I will focus on obtaining my travel visa, but not after I staff this year's Six-Day Youth Conference, themed: The Gospel According to Dr. Seuss.

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Now playing: Billy Joel - Getting Closer

Buy These Books

2009-05-28T11:37:00.000-07:00

1) Finding Your Religion by Scotty McLennan

It sounds like a 'Faith for Dummies' type deal, but it is a really deep look into a very ecumenical view of religion. Even if you aren't "religious" in the traditional sense, I think this book would be excellent. It might give you a better idea of the ins and outs of organized God-seekers. He breaks down spiritual maturity into 9 stages, which have flaws, but for the most part have merit.
Buy it

2) Listening Hearts: Discerning Call in Community

This one is for someone who considers her/himself to be religious or spiritual, and for someone who is looking for vocational direction, or direction in anything. It is the book that my discernment committee is working through. I've read the whole thing twice and I am going through it at a pace with the rest of the committee now. I keep finding more wisdom and I'm running out of margin space and post-it tabs.
Buy it

Harmonize!

2009-05-18T09:30:00.000-07:00

St. Francis of Assisi once said “preach the gospel always, if necessary, use words.” This has been on my mind recently as I’ve been preparing for my mission to Ecuador. One of the people who interviewed me for a mission scholarship reminded me of this quote as we talked a great deal about the reality of my mission.

In Quito I won’t just be standing on a street corner evangelizing to passersby. Most of my duties will entail teaching English. I realize that there are many ways to incorporate the gospel into an English lesson, but the fact is, I’m teaching 70 students how to read and write a language.

I think St. Francis nailed it. I don’t need to be “saving souls” or even reading from the Bible to be a Christian missionary. I can be actively engaged in God’s work by being a good friend and teacher. This journey is about being a companion and an ambassador, and I think that these principles of my mission extend to all of us. We are all called to be missionaries in some way. Sure, my way includes a year in South America, but I’m 22 and single—I am able to make that journey.

For another person, missionizing (it’s a word…just trust me) might involve reaching out to that marginalized person that could use a friend. Whatever it may be, it should include genuine storytelling. We should listen for others who want to share their stories; likewise, we should be sharing our own. What better way of bearing witness to Christ than showing friendship to someone and telling how He has worked in our lives? It certainly has to be more effective than the ranting of the man who comes to my campus to yell at girls for dressing like “heathens.”

In Quito I may learn more about religion and faith than my students will learn about English, but I’m coming to realize that my goal is not as simple as that. In fact, my goal for this mission should be the same as my goal as a college student, a friend, a brother, a son, and some day as a husband, father and Father (Get it?): I should strive to be a thoughtful and genuine companion to everyone. I hope that my relationships with those I meet in Ecuador will be reciprocal. I am going both for my own experience, and to contribute to theirs. I’m also going so that I can bring my new insight back home to share with you in writing and conversation.

Throughout time, God has called us to be in unity with Him AND each other. This means sharing our stories with each other to find a deeper connection. When Jesus comes to his disciples after death, he asks us to be witnesses:

“You shall be My witnesses both in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and even to the remotest part of the earth." – Acts 1:8

I would encourage you to take His words seriously, and actively seek out someone to share stories with, to grow in unity with each other. As the Beastie Boys said: “we got to get together and harmonize…ravers of the world, unite!”

Religulous

2009-05-03T12:50:00.001-07:00

Every once and a while I like to sit down and watch something controversial: Jesus Camp, Fahrenheit 9/11, National Treasure… A friend told me NOT to watch Bill Maher’s Religulous because he thought I’d be too offended. So I had to watch it, right?

“Bill, you’re not so smart,” one of Maher’s many interviewees said to him after he grossly misinterpreted the Qur’an. I would agree. He really doesn’t ‘get’ religion. Granted, he does point out many of the negative things that religious people have caused in the name of their God(s) (sexism, racism, homophobia, violence, murder, and all kinds of hate), but his conclusion is that RELIGION caused people to do these things, that Jesus is to blame for all of the hatred in the world.

–breathe–

Anyone who has even LOOKED at a New Testament has to understand that Jesus was about nothing but love and hugs. At a recent youth conference, Deacon Dad did a Gospel reading: “and Jesus said ‘love one another.’” That was it. The simplest and most beautiful summary of what Christianity is all about.

Unfortunately for Christians who hold Jesus’ teachings at the utmost importance, Maher ignores this part of Christianity. His point should have been: Many people are misguided, and religion is an easy tool for them to use for despicable acts. I know many people who will probably not get anything out of this “documentary” except a headache, and that is mostly because Maher has set out to marginalize religious people, rather than actually accomplish something or make an intelligent film.

As I think about it more, I don’t think Maher just intended to offend religious people. What he really wanted to do was make people laugh, (let’s not forget that he is a comedian) and the people he targeted were non-religious people and those who have been marginalized by religious people. His narrow, cynical view of religion makes sense through the eyes of his audience. After all, we (Christians) tend to marginalize more people than we show love to (unless they go to our church and dress the way we do and act the way we do and have the same kinds of relationships that we do…). This is a tragedy and I’m not sorry that Maher pointed it out. BUT there has to be a better way. There has to be a way that will motivate more Christians to embrace Jesus’ message by loving unconditionally. This way just doesn’t.

By the way, Religulous deals with Judaism, Islam, LDS, Scientology, Evangelical Christianity, Roman Catholicism, as well as a few others, but I’ll only talk about what he says pertinent to Christianity because I’m just not as informed about the others.

I need to address some of the good points that Maher’s film brings up. I thought it was interesting that as he debated many Christians, he almost always got them to the point where they said “well what if I’m right?” I wonder if I’ve ever clung to Christianity “just in case.” I found a majority of the people he interviewed to have a very basic understanding of scripture, and Maher played with this. He reminds an actor playing Jesus at TBN’s Holy Land Experience (one of the most disgusting amusement park concepts in the world) about popular “evidence” that Jesus was a fraud. These include making comparisons to Mithra and Horus and concluding that Jesus’ story must be fictional because it sounds like other stories of the time. I don’t really need to get into the specifics, but if you look into it, I’m sure you’ll find the arguments for and against this hypothesis. Even Jesus said, “what if you’re wrong?”

Why do Christians feel like they need to prove something? It really isn’t for us to convert, control, or even convince people of anything. It is our job to love. HOW IS EVERYONE MISSING THIS? If nothing else, Maher is exposing how so many people lack understanding of what Jesus asked us to do. He challenges a tourist at “The Holy Land” to say that many Bible stories don’t sound like fairy tales. I believe he mentions the snake talking to Eve and Jonah living in a whale, excuse me, giant tuna. He asks something like, “what if the story of Jack and the Beanstalk had made it in to the old testament, would you believe it to be true?” It’s an…interesting question, but he is asking a woman who would pay $30 to walk around a tacky, Jesus-themed amusement park in Florida that probably is about as blasphemous as Religulous. I think her answer was, “do you think these are fairy tales?” He provoked her, and instead of thinking up an intelligent response, she wound up shutting down and getting defensive. I loved the response given by Father Reginald Foster, a Vatican priest. Maher asked him a similar question, and Foster responded, “These are all just nice stories.” It wasn’t what I expected from a priest at the Vatican. I was delighted at first, but then I realized why Maher left this clip in; he wanted to show the careless side of the Church. I thought I was about to hear an intelligent conversation where the priest might say:

“Well, the stories could be fictional—to teach lessons, but I believe that there is a reason for them to be there, and my God would be capable of such things, but that’s not the point. The point of the good book is that it contains everything necessary for salvation, and it has these complex stories that help people live in a more pleasing way to themselves, others and God. Everyone can learn something from the Bible.”

But when he’s on the brink of revealing differing opinions and penetrating real issues, he cuts to a guy who calls his pot-bar a church, or a man who believes himself to be the second coming of Christ. And instead of really asking what ‘we’ believe, he tells us what he thinks we believe and mocks it (and us). He assumes that all Christians, Muslims, and Jews agree on a set of beliefs; he doesn’t account for the endless disagreement over interpretations of the Old Testament, New Testament, and Qur’an (not to mention other types of doctrine and ritual).

“Things aren’t black and white, they are more complex than that,” Muslim rap-artist Propa-Gandhi told Maher. I would agree. In Religulous, Maher comes off as a comedian trying to get a few laughs at the expense of many, many people. While it does upset me that some people might take this "documentary" too seriously, it is probably better to bring the issues I've mentioned here to the surface, rather than pretend that people of (insert your favorite religion here) are saintly.

Ecuador Update and a Pity-Party

2009-04-29T12:12:00.001-07:00

In a failed attempt to write my only final paper for my last semester at Washington State (I also have an exam) I've decided to update my status as far as my mission to Ecuador goes.

I talked to Chris, a missionary in Ecuador who is helping me, and will continue to help me as I make the transition to teaching actual students for the first time in my life. In our conversation I was able to get a more detailed picture of my time in Quito. It is likely that I'll be living with a priest and her daughter in an apartment in the cathedral where I'll be teaching. Also, Chris urged me to do everything I can to make it to Ecuador in July so I can take some intensive Spanish courses, learn the culture, and get my bearings before I stand in the classroom. I'm glad we had this conversation sooner rather than later. I start teaching in late August, so my original idea of "oh, I'll go in August or September" is out the window. "I'm stoked to go," as a pull-out quote in an article about me in WSU's Daily Evergreen said.

Time for the pity-party.
This new time frame does, however, increase my stress level significantly. I need to apply for and get my non-immigrant Visa from an Ecuadorian consulate. This requires that I collect 12 documents from about six different sources. I need to prove that I don't have any communicable diseases and get some vaccinations. I need to prove that I'm not a felon, which I think requires a notary signature. I also need several people to write letters stating that they want me or want to send me to Ecuador.
As I'm getting closer to graduation, I'm realizing that when school's over my schedule only gets busier. During my short 'summer break' I'm doing 2 weeks of mission training in Toronto and some visits to churches to talk about my mission and ask for support. Oh, did I mention that I need to raise $10,000 before I go? That would be one of the biggest stressors.
...There are more, but those are the major ones.

This seems like the perfect time for me to exercise finding inner peace. "If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?" Anyone know who said that? It was Morgan Freeman in Evan Almighty. Yes, I'm quoting Evan Almighty, but sometimes wisdom comes from strange places. I think He's giving me plenty of opportunities to focus, think, pray, and learn. Sitting down to write this is allowing me to think about all of the great things that are happening right now and that will happen for the next two months. Father Tom made an announcement about my trip and plans for ordination at church at the tail-end of the HYC (High school Youth Conference). I was greeted by many parishioners with enthusiastic support for me and my plans. I'm grateful for this, and the scholarship that my friend Phil nominated me for with the Krista Foundation, and all the support that all of my friends and family have given me.

Also, I'm looking forward to being back home for a bit before I go. We're already talking about a graduation/send-off party. This will probably happen after I speak at Good Shepherd on June 28th. The party should be a great time, and my talk at church will give me a chance to let my home parish know me a bit better. I think Six-Day will be another highlight of the summer. It will be a busy week I'm sure, but it will give me time to reflect on everthing else as I join in worship and study with the Diocese's youth presence. It also gives me a chance to return to the place where the seed for ordination was planted.

Okay, I think this update is pretty sufficient. I'll try to write something again...perhaps after I graduate from one of the finest universities in the world in less than two weeks.

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Now playing: Goo Goo Dolls - Amigone

How Deep The Father's Love

2009-04-12T16:57:00.001-07:00

This is an excellent song that we did at Cornerstone today:

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocking voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that held Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast in Jesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom

Episcopal Jokes

2009-03-25T21:41:00.000-07:00

You might be an Episcopalian...

...if you watch Star Wars and when they say "May the force be with you," you automatically reply "And also with you."
...if you recognize your neighbor, or rector, in the local liquor store and go over to greet him/her.
...if you have totally memorized Rite I, Rite II and the first three episodes of The Vicar of Dibley.
...if the sight of a woman in a clerical collar doesn't make you cringe.
...if while looking for a can opener in the church kitchen, all you can find are corkscrews.
...if you catch yourself genuflecting or bowing as you enter a row of seats in a theater.
...if you know the best way to quiet a room full of them: "The Lord be with you!"
...if when visiting a Catholic Church, you are the only "Ah-men" amongst a sea of "A-men"'s.
...if your covered dish for the potluck dinner is escargot in puff shells.
...if you don't think Agnus Dei is a woman.
...if you know how to finish the phrase "and I will raaaaise them up, and I will raaaaise them up..."
...if your priest has ever said during the sermon, "and he's got the whole world in his hands. That means all the nasty people too: tyrants, terrorists, and Rush Limbaugh." And said priest is in his 80s.

How many Episcopalians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
300.
A sexton to change the bulb. The rector, assistant rector, deacon, and seminarian to lead the ceremony blessing the new bulb. The church secretary to make up the special bulletin insert with the bulb-blessing ceremony, including congregational responses: "Do you, the people of St. Swithin's, promise to support this bulb in its work on behalf of the church?" "We do!" The choirmaster/organist to write and arrange a special Blessing of the Bulb Anthem: "Phos 100-Watt GE Soft White" and 12 choir members to sing it. An acolyte and two torch-bearers to sit around looking bored and making faces at each other. And 278 people in the pews thinking, "Is this service EVER going to end?"
Following the service, two people will leave the parish and try to find someone who will let them use the Real Light Bulb of their forefathers. Six people will form a Society for the Preservation of the Light Bulb and meet regularly to drink brandy and talk about the first annual Light Bulb Festival.

Definitions for Episcopalians
Bulletin: something to read during the sermon
Choir: a group of people who make lip-syncing possible for the rest of us
Recessional Hymn: the quietest song of an Episcopal service because 2/3's of the congregation has already left.
Ushers: the only people who don't know the seating capacity of the pews

A woman dies and goes to heaven, and St. Peter takes her on a tour of heaven. They pass a pit where there were people gnashing their teeth and wailing, and the woman says, "Who's down there?"

St. Peter says, "Oh, those are the Catholics who ate meat on Fridays."

They walked a little farther and there was another pit with more groaning and wailing, and she says, "O.K., who's down there?"

St. Peter answers, "Those are the Baptists who went to dances."

And a little farther along, there was another pit and people down there gnashing their teeth and crying and ripping their garments, and she says, "And those people?"

And St. Peter says, "Those are the Episcopalians who ate their salads with their dessert forks."

And finally...

Did you hear about the new liberal Episcopal church?
It has six commandments and four suggestions.

Wealth and Sin

2009-03-25T16:14:00.000-07:00

Someone in my Ministry Discernment Committee asked me this question:
Do you think there is a certain point at which wealth becomes a sin? If so, what and how? What is the church’s role of addressing it? How can this be done without becoming judgmental, or need we be?

If we are truly devoted to God, and committed to helping the poor, than why don't we all give up all of our possessions? I think it is because this issue goes much deeper. It has to do with what is in our hearts.

Wealth does becomes a sin once attaining it becomes more important than seeking God. When we care more about finding that materialistic comfort than we do worshiping God and being Christ-like, we are playing with fire.

In Matthew 6:24 and Luke 16:13, Jesus says that "you cannot serve both God and money." He urges us to store up treasures in heaven, to devote our hearts and minds to God.

Your question reminds me of Tom's sermon from the 15th. Money and wealth are definitely Gods that we tend to idolize. So many people spend a great part of their lives planning for and working towards a lush retirement. Along the way, we accumulate many goods that are not essential to living or serving God. Sometimes we get things that CAN be used for His glory, but we neglect to realize the potential. On the other hand, sometimes we do, and something that could be considered so unimportant and material turns into a kind of ministry. I'm talking about beach cabins that can be offered up for religious retreats, nice church facilities that can be used for concerts, meetings, after school programs, AA, etc.

When we use the earthly treasures to help people and glorify God, we store up our treasures in Heaven.

As far as the church's role in addressing wealth-sin without sounding judgmental...
I think that most people would respond to the concept using their wealth to "do good." There's no need to discipline people for not living EXACTLY as Jesus did. We have spouses, children, and we live in a different world. The church should ask people how they can use their place in this world to glorify God.

But this only accounts for the average person. As I implied on my "Back Page" article, I don't understand paying $1000 more for a wider airplane seat. (Nor do I understand paying $35 million to go into space FOR A SECOND TIME! - Thanks Julie) This of course comes from a poor college student who can't understand 'an extra thou,' and has always flown coach. I guess there is a point where I get a bit judgmental about that kind of spending, but I certainly don't think that the church should ever punish people for it. I've grown up knowing that the number one, absolutely, without a doubt, best way to help someone grow in their faith and develop a more Christ-like life is to be accepting, not critical. Charity is a very personal thing, and it shouldn't be done for external reasons. Discussing Jesus' lesson about treasures in Heaven would be a great way to inspire people to look inward and monitor their own level of charitableness.

Some folks like to get away

2009-02-27T20:17:00.000-08:00

Nils dropped me off around a quarter to eleven, which gave me about an hour in Spokane’s surprisingly classy airport. I grabbed a greasy Classic Italian at Quizno’s and planted myself next to a window. I sat and watched the other fifteen people in the airport chow-down on similar foods. A man at my two o’clock sat and pretended to read the New York Times, on which Obama’s face takes up a hefty portion of the front page. Next to him, a man finishes a piece of pizza and frantically texts someone…

On the plane I started to read, but quickly drifted into an hour and a half nap. I woke up and apologized to my neighbor for any snoring I might have done. We started to talk, and it turns out he is a retired WSU professor of Russian literature. His name is Tom and when he found out my plan to head into ministry, a conversation sparked. “I went to seminary…ages ago,” he told me. It didn’t work out for him. He went to a Roman Catholic seminary right out of high school, and after three years, he found himself on a different path. (To be a teacher that is, he is still Roman Catholic). When we left the plane, Tom gave me his number in Pullman and told me to call him in a week or so because he had a number of books that he wanted to give me, including a Cambridge anthology of an explanation of the creation of the Christian Biblical canon. Very cool. We shook hands and I wandered through the vast Minneapolis/St. Paul International Airport.

As I wandered the Twin Cities’ airport, I noticed a number of people with ash marks on their foreheads. I asked someone at information if there was a chapel where they might be holding Ash Wednesday services. He told me where to go, but I wasn’t able to make a full service before I had to board. Instead, I planted myself next to my gate and watch Lou Dobbs on CNN. Apparently HE’s the one who has all the answers. Go figure.

At ‘Lagua’dia,’ I walked down the stairs to find my driver with a sign with my name on it. No, it doesn’t just happen in the movies. I stepped in the lush Suburban, and my driver and I chatted about the differences between New York and Washington State. Twenty minutes later, we pulled up to the Leo House, a former Catholic boarding home for German emigrants. I believe the administrative staff is comprised of a priest and nuns, though I didn’t meet any. My room was small, but it was one of the only ones on my floor with a private shower—I can’t complain too much.

When I woke up at 6am (3am my time), I was so excited to get into the city that I got ready way too fast.

…I had some time to kill, so I made “You talkin' to me?” poses in the mirror. I waited for the 7:30 breakfast buffet on the second floor. I know that certain people might be interested to know that they had corned beef hash. Woo hoo!

I checked out at 8 and walked toward Times Square. On the way I had several views of the Empire State Building. Times Square was quite a sight, though it would have been better at night.

From Bowing to Mystery

I stopped by my favorite little New York pizza place Sbarro. (Michael Scott). Then I headed east to the United Nations building. On a building across the street was a passage from Isaiah. It included “Nation will not take up sword against nation, nor will they train for war anymore.” Made a quick trip to see “The Donald” at his “Al Pacino’s Scarface-esque” skyscraper. I saw the Waldorf Astoria, St. Bart’s Episcopal Cathedral,

From Bowing to Mystery

30 Rockefeller and the ice rink. It was here that I finally found some other touristy people who I didn’t feel uncomfortable asking to take my picture, and then I had lunch in Grand Central Station. Grand Central was probably the coolest building I went to. That is probably because it was the only one I went in.

The Point of the Trip

My 22 hours in New York DID have a point though. At 11 that morning I met with the Reverends Douglas Fenton and David Copley to talk about the possibility of a mission in my future with the Young Adult Service Corps. They questioned me about myself and explained the program to me.

Should I choose to go on a mission, this would be my time line:
June 1-14: Attend missionary training session in Toronto, Canada.
June 15-Autumn: Raise funds at Good Shepherd and Cornerstone, as well as the Diocese of Olympia.
Autumn: Go on mission for a year.

I’ll hand it to David and Douglas; they certainly want my eyes to be open to all of the possible problems I might face while on mission. They told me about some of the loneliness and depression issues that some missionaries face. Their warning didn’t phase me at first, but they loaded my up with some reading materials. As I read them on the trip home, I started to feel a bit of anxiety about some things: catching a disease, becoming an outcast, insulting someone, becoming depressed…

Luckily I waited to make my judgment until I read a bit more.

My plane from New York to Minneapolis was delayed for 3 hours due to bad weather in Minneapolis. My first thought was that Kevin would have to stay up near his bedtime to come get me in Spokane. Since I’d be up past my bedtime, I would finally see the boy do some schoolwork! (I kid because I love) Then the continuing flight to Spokane was canceled and it appeared that I would be in Minneapolis for about 24 hours. I incessantly pestered the airline clerk to find me a better flight. She did, and it looked like I would only have to be at the Minneapolis airport until 9am. I would be home in time to go to the rec center—yeah right—or at least go work at the church office to catch up for the two days I missed.
...anyway, I had plenty of time to get some reading in.

I went through a book called On Your Way: A guide to your overseas intercultural experience. I found this book to be extremely useful with its honest and deep look at what it is like to be on a mission. It used real experiences of missionaries to back up their ideas—which I appreciated. I started to feel more comfortable with the idea of possibly being susceptible to diseases and such. This was because I read about what a profound influence cross-cultural experiences had on these missionaries. I started reflecting on my own life. What was missing? What could a yearlong mission provide for my spiritual growth?

At Minneapolis Airport I quickly found a bench without pesky armrests underneath one of the many flat-screen TVs airing CNN. For a few hours, Anderson Cooper sang the lullaby of the octuplet lady as I drifted in and out of sleep. All over the airport, people had found clever ways to catch a few winks. I used my shirt and pants from the day before as a pillow. At five or six I woke up craving something to eat. My choice was McDonalds, Burger King, or Starbucks. So: nasty, nasty, or overpriced…and kind of nasty. I opted to get a croisanwich at the BK. After that mistake, I went to my gate and slept a bit more until it was time to board the plane.

I got my new boarding pass to discover that, yes, I had been upgraded to first class.

LUXURY

…Okay, it isn’t THAT special. It certainly isn’t worth the $1000 extra that it cost those next to me. There were bigger seats, tray tables; more legroom; an omelet, potatoes, sausage, fresh fruit, and a honey oat bar. When I sat down and tried to put my jacket in the overhead compartment, a Chris Farley-ish flight attendant named JoJo told me “Honey, you’re in first class. Let me hang that for you.”

My flight attendant, Raul, called us all by name and refilled our drinks several times. Those drinks came in real glasses, by the way.

I can’t deny, first class was nice, but I just couldn’t get past how much money is wasted. I looked it up: $1000 to buy a first class ticket instead of economy. There are so many good things that can be done with $1000. You can send 20 disaster relief kits with food, water, medicine, and blankets to people whose lives were devastated by floods, typhoons, and hurricanes. You can give clean water to almost five families. The list goes on.

I left the plane feeling more rested than when I had gotten on, yet I couldn’t help but reflect on this a bit more. I wrote the following for my contribution to my home parish’s newsletter:

After numerous delays due to snow in Minneapolis, I was finally on my way home after a whirlwind trip in New York City. To ease my troubles, Northwest Airlines gave me a first-class seat. This was a delightful surprise—to say the least. I had never flown first class and was always a bit curious. It was pretty lush: bigger seats, tray tables; more legroom; an omelet, potatoes, sausage, fresh fruit, and a honey oat bar. The flight attendant called us all by name and refilled our drinks, which came in real glasses. It felt good to be pampered a bit.
But, sometimes I think that good things like that get in the way. We often think that Satan only attacks us through the bad things—through sins. Well I think more often than not, he tempts us with the good things: sleeping in on Saturdays, staying home to watch TV instead of building a friendship over some coffee, and buying first-class seats. The enemy is always tempting us with comfort, security, and power, just as he did with Jesus in the desert.
If it’s not done for His glory, then what is the point? If we choose those immediate comforts, what do we have when it is over?
Lent is the perfect time to think about these things and simplify your life, and to try to live as Jesus did. Instead of paying that extra $1000 for a first-class seat, you could give that money to a charity. That amount will buy enough mosquito nets for more than 80 families to prevent malaria. You could wake up early on Saturday morning and help a neighbor do yard work. There’s no limit to the opportunities God gives us to serve.
For the rest of Lent, augment the sacrifices that you may or may not be making. In addition to giving up dark chocolate, try to think of one thing that you can do every day that is out of your routine that helps someone. Forge new friendships; build up old ones. Or simply pray: “God of infinite wisdom, help me to see where I can be more Christ-like. You are my savior; you have transformed my heart. Transform my mind.”
Amen.

So what about the mission? I need to think about that more. I’m sure that if I decide to move on to the next step(s), I’ll be writing ALL about it.

Jesus Camp

2009-02-19T08:08:00.000-08:00

I was watching Jesus Camp last night--a documentary that follows a children's' Pentecostal camp around for one session. There was a girl who was talking about the Christian music she listens to. She added that she doesn't bother with Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan (Does Lin-Lin have an album?) because they deal only with boy and girl issues...etc. It was a common theme: don't associate with so-called "evil."

Suddenly I thought: What would Jesus say to this little girl? What would He say to the preacher who commonly used warlike language to inspire the children to fight against the "enemies of God." Enemies such as: politicians who believe in freedom of religion and the separation of church and state, the creators of the Harry Potter series, or Muslim people.

Based on what I know of the Gospels, Jesus would not be preaching this kind of message, especially to young (13 and younger) children. He wouldn't be getting out the vote to end any hot button issue like abortion, gay marriage..etc. He wouldn't write hateful editorials to people opposed to his principles. I think that He would share a Caesar salad with Britney Spears at the Olive Garden. He'd go see the newest Harry Potter with Bernie Madoff. And yes, he would go to a mosque and try to understand their beliefs.

I haven't finished the documentary yet, Netflix says I'm 74% done. So far, I would recommend it. It is very interesting. I would caution that you try not to become hateful toward Pastor Becky the same way she has become hateful toward many other groups. After all, that would be missing the point.

ARGH

2009-02-17T23:20:00.001-08:00

"Representations of the Holocaust" seemed like an interesting choice while planning my last semester, but it turns out that this stuff is taking quite a toll on me. Though it is interesting, I'm finding out more than I wanted to know about people. I can't find a way to write about it.

Anyway, I'm going to New York next week, so I should have some pictures and a story or two. Until then...

Silenced at the Inaguration

2009-01-31T17:54:00.000-08:00

The following is quoted from a Facebook group: Silenced at the Inauguration. The prayer that Rev. Robinson gave seems like a pretty important one. It's a shame it wasn't aired.

As many of you know, the Right Rev. Gene Robinson, the openly Gay Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire, gave the opening prayer at yesterday's Lincoln Memorial event. It was the first event in the inaugural festivities this year. HBO, which had paid for exclusive rights to the event chose not to broadcast Bishop Robinson's prayer. So if you watched there you wouldn't have caught it or even known that it occurred. NPR didn't air it either. There's no record of it in images placed on the sites of Getty Images, New York Times and the Washington Post.
It's a complete erasure of his ever having delivered the prayer.

Such is the continuing policy of silence and erasure we have to live with from people who should know better. We are used to this. If you know your Gay history this has happened again and again. In fact this little list-serve is really about recovering the truth in our history and celebrating it.

So we're going to celebrate it by providing here the full text of Bishop Robinson's prayer. I suggest you forward this around so that everyone has a chance to enjoy it.

Opening Inaugural Event
Lincoln Memorial, Washington, DC
January 18, 2009

Delivered by the Right Reverend V. Gene Robinson:

"Welcome to Washington! The fun is about to begin, but first, please join me in pausing for a moment, to ask God's blessing upon our nation and our next president.

O God of our many understandings, we pray that you will…

Bless us with tears – for a world in which over a billion people exist on less than a dollar a day, where young women from many lands are beaten and raped for wanting an education, and thousands die daily from malnutrition, malaria, and AIDS.

Bless us with anger – at discrimination, at home and abroad, against refugees and immigrants, women, people of color, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people.

Bless us with discomfort – at the easy, simplistic "answers" we've preferred to hear from our politicians, instead of the truth, about ourselves and the world, which we need to face if we are going to rise to the challenges of the future.

Bless us with patience – and the knowledge that none of what ails us will be "fixed" anytime soon, and the understanding that our new president is a human being, not a messiah.

Bless us with humility – open to understanding that our own needs must always be balanced with those of the world.

Bless us with freedom from mere tolerance – replacing it with a genuine respect and warm embrace of our differences, and an understanding that in our diversity, we are stronger.

Bless us with compassion and generosity – remembering that every religion's God judges us by the way we care for the most vulnerable in the human community, whether across town or across the world.

And God, we give you thanks for your child Barack, as he assumes the office of President of the United States.

Give him wisdom beyond his years, and inspire him with Lincoln's reconciling leadership style, President Kennedy's ability to enlist our best efforts, and Dr. King's dream of a nation for ALL the people.

Give him a quiet heart, for our Ship of State needs a steady, calm captain in these times.

Give him stirring words, for we will need to be inspired and motivated to make the personal and common sacrifices necessary to facing the challenges ahead.

Make him color-blind, reminding him of his own words that under his leadership, there will be neither red nor blue states, but the United States.

Help him remember his own oppression as a minority, drawing on that experience of discrimination, that he might seek to change the lives of those who are still its victims.

Give him the strength to find family time and privacy, and help him remember that even though he is president, a father only gets one shot at his daughters' childhoods.

And please, God, keep him safe. We know we ask too much of our presidents, and we're asking FAR too much of this one. We know the risk he and his wife are taking for all of us, and we implore you, O good and great God, to keep him safe. Hold him in the palm of your hand – that he might do the work we have called him to do, that he might find joy in this impossible calling, and that in the end, he might lead us as a nation to a place of integrity, prosperity and peace.

AMEN."

Keeping the Faith

2009-01-25T19:45:00.000-08:00

Do not forget to entertain strangers, for by so doing, some people have entertained angels without knowing it. -Hebrews 13:2

An ongoing discussion at my Pullman church (Cornerstone Community Church), has only begun to surface a genuine understanding of who we are as a body--in my head at least. Today we discussed a number of things. One that was most prominent is our inability to retain new members. This has been a concern all year. We moved into a new building during the summer and we were expecting hoards of people to find us. We have had a number of visitors, but only almost none of them have returned.

I think this "issue" is rooted in the type of church we've become. We are a church of mostly twenty-somethings who want a place to worship and deepen our knowledge of the Word and our relationship with God. Sounds pretty good right? It is. As stated at the meeting, we have a remarkable group of people with solid, loving friendships. We love the Lord, and we love each other. In fact I want to share a story that epitomizes Cornerstone: It was sometime Friday that my friend from Cornerstone was told that she had preeclampsia, a condition that causes high blood pressure in pregnant women and can be quite devastating to mother and child. Also on Friday, another parishioner who has battled cancer for a few years was told that she had two large tumors on her brain. At 9:33 am yesterday, our pastor, Nils, emailed the congregation with the "urgent prayer" request. As a body that believes in prayer, I'm pretty sure anyone who got the email immediately had both women in mind. I fell to my knees in prayer. When my roommate and I were leaving for worship practice, our upstairs neighbor who conveniently is also a Cornerstone member was standing at her door, asking what we knew and if we had heard.
Following our 10 am worship practice, the music team stood in a circle, held hands, and prayed once again.
This morning before the service, many were anxious to hear of any developments. Some decided to drive to Spokane to visit both women, who happen to be in the same hospital.

This is what Cornerstone is good at.

And this is what our members have come here for.

I DO NOT SPEAK FOR EVERYONE, but I feel that we have become a selfish group. We talk of corporate guidance: the idea that God doesn't just guide the individual, but that He guides the group. I want to extract this idea of a corporate body and say that we have become corporately selfish. We come to church for ourselves, and we have been unmotivated to invite others into our family. I don't speak for everyone, but I suspect this feeling is shared, and I think it grows from individual selfishness. I DO NOT SPEAK FOR EVERYONE.
In his book Celebration of Discipline, Richard Foster writes "the preoccupation with private guidance in Western cultures is the product of their emphasis upon individualism." There is a relationship between individualism and selfishness. Our culture is all about securing every aspect of life and focusing on one's self. I don't think it is unusual for Western Christian churches to become "corporately selfish" for that reason. I also don't think it is as harsh as it sounds. But I believe it was Gandhi who said "purity of mind and idleness are incompatible." We have an awesome church family, but if we stand idly by, we aren't doing everything possible for our community.
I think we have begun the steps necessary to have God lead us as a group toward that indefinable goal. We are talking about who WE are and what WE can and should do. We have begun to let the spirit lead us, and I am at the edge of my seat waiting for God to tell US what to do. I'll amend my previous statement: We only act selfishly, as far as our hearts are concerned, I doubt that is the case.

I sensed frustration at one point during our discussion when we were getting down on ourselves, especially because we weren't at a place to suggest "fixes." Then as the subject changed, I saw God working in our larger group relationship. There was a rapport that was unmistakably "of the Spirit, and I remembered something a mentor of mine once said. "The people who are hear now, are the ones who are supposed to be." WE are the body of people, the family that will build not just our church, but God's kingdom.

So I ask myself:
How do we redirect that spirit to fill more seats.

Well first I don't think we need to fill more seats--in fact, that is the opposite of the attitude we should have. There are 20-some thousand students at Washington State University, and there are about five thousand other people in Pullman. Many of these people have no solid community to be a part of, let alone a community of believers. Some of these people are looking for this community, and only a few have found us.

The question becomes:
How do we make our family more accessible to the people who are looking for it?

First, I think we need to keep from being discouraged when a visitor does not return. Our church isn't for everyone. I know that I have been that person who sneaks out quickly after a service, not unseen, but certainly unheard. Going to a new church is a frightening experience, especially when you expect the entire congregation to know that you are THE NEWCOMER.

Secondly, God is calling welcomers. It think it is Luke that says "For a Christian, hospitality is not an option. It is an injunction." We NEED to be hospitible. There are many ways that a church welcomes new members. Larger churches have small groups only for newcomers who grow the body...this creates generations of members. Some churches have welcome committees who connect people to small groups and different ministries within the church. My home church (Church of the Good Shepherd, Vancouver, Washington) has a "Three Pew Ministry: Nobody leaves a stranger." This means that it is the responsibility of the core group to spread themselves out in the church, and introduce themselves to the people in front of them, and behind them. It is only a mildly organized policy, but it requires little work from any one person. I believe Cornerstone needs such a policy.
There is a fear that we either don't say anything to visitors, or we attack them with biographical questions. With a focus on welcoming newcomers in a gentle and somewhat organic manner, I think Cornerstone can begin to see some visitors return. I can only imagine what angelic brothers and sisters we might gain in the coming months...

----------------
Now playing: Billy Joel - Keeping The Faith

2x4s

2009-01-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

It was during the 6-Day conference last summer (2008) when we all gathered around the Camp Houston fire pit for a spiritual gifts service. The Reverend Doctor Marda Steedman-Sanborn led us in a spiritual gifts service. The theme for the week was "Episcopal University," and we were celebrating Pentecost on our first full day of camp. Marda talked about the gifts of the spirit, or "charismata." Gifts like teaching, healing, and giving are given to us by God in order to strengthen the church and the world.

She listed more than ten of these gifts, explaining the significance and practical applications of each. With every gift, we were given the opportunity to stand up, and walk down to be blessed with holy oils by Reverend Ken Grabinski (more affectionately known as Deacon Dad), Reverend Pete Van Zanten (PVZ), Bishop Bavi "Nedi" Rivera, and Marda. I was moved when I saw youth and staff alike beckoned to stand up for gifts which they were, perhaps, too modest to publicly recognize. It was one of those moments where the hair on your arms stands on end, and a chill of intense joy passes down your spine.

Finally, Marda asked us to close our eyes. She said something like "this next gift is a very serious one. Few people feel this call, and even fewer answer it. The last gift of the spirit is for ministry. If you have felt, or are feeling a calling to ministry, to serving God as a pastor or spiritual leader, please open your eyes, stand up, and walk down to be blessed."

At this point I had no control of my body. I felt one with God, and I wouldn't realize it until later, but God was calling me to ministry.

Much like a traumatic event takes time for the inflicted to process, I would not fully understand this event for another three months. But this 2x4 left a bruise on my soul, and God had some plans for me. I practically ignored the call until I was back in Pullman after a long summer of working as a service assistant at the Old Spaghetti Factory. To say I didn't think about the event at all would be a gross exaggeration, but the idea of pushing aside my plans for grad school and an English Doctorate to go into ministry seemed like more of a pipe dream than anything else. I continued to reflect on my plans for the rest of the summer and kept the experience to myself.

I remember having stronger feelings that it might be a calling during the Good Shepherd Youth Mission Trip to Vernonia, Oregon, where we helped some people recover from flood damage. On this trip I got to know our new Priest, Tom, a little better. I left for Pullman soon after the trip, and a week or so later I found myself bursting with anxiety. I wanted to tell everybody I knew and loved that I was thinking about ministry. For some, unclear reason, I started with two of my new classes to practice saying it out loud. We were introducing ourselves to the class, and I told everyone I was thinking about ordination.

One night that week, I was at Rico's Public House with my roommate Kevin. In our conversation, I told him about the possibility of ministry in my future. Then I told a close friend of the family, Rosie, that it was a sure thing. Finally, in a conversation with Danielle, the youth leader at good shepherd, I slyly said that there was a chance I would be returning home instead of continuing on for graduate school. "I'm thinking about ordination," I said. Her response could only be characterized as: ecstatic.
"Oh my gosh Curt!...(shrieks of excitement)...I have to tell you something!"
As I drove from class to the post office, she told me how she and Father Tom had been talking about me after the mission trip. Out of the blue, he said "that Farr, he would make a good priest. I think he's going to be a priest some day."

Another 2x4.

We talked a bit more, but as I went on with my day and my week, I kept thinking about Tom's observation. God was forcing me to face this call head-on. I needed to move on to the next step--no more keeping it inside. I emailed Tom and he responded with a "PRAISE THE LORD!" I had a few days to compute the implications of my decision to take God's call before I called my parents.

I told my mom first, then my dad. They were supportive, as usual. Mom said she'd pray for me. Dad said he was proud. They both said they would have Nate call when he got home. When he did, they said "Go call your brother, he has some news." He took a shower and called me. I told him I was going to be a priest. He wasn't surprised.
"I was in the shower, thinking 'what could Curt's news be...he's going to be a priest.'" My older brother Nate, with whom I've talked about my faith only one or two times, saw that possibility...and it only took a couple minutes!

Another 2x4.

Now that my immediate family knew, it was time to tell my other friends and extended family. I contacted them by various means, but for my mothers family I felt that I should craft my announcement carefully. I decided to collect their email addresses and compose a letter that ease them into the idea. I wrongfully assumed that they're conservative leanings would keep them from giving their support to me. I thought that the progressive nature of the Episcopal church would make them feel that I was going against God, but as the replies came in, I found that they supported me and would be praying for my discernment.

This time the 2x4 left me stupefied. I had found solid support in what I ignorantly thought was an unlikely place. This very minute as I think about my family, specifically my grandparents, I realize that they were supporting me for ministry all along. They had always told me to recognize the talents that God gave me, and to use them for the glory of God.

Aha! Spiritual gifts...another 2x4...

"It was [Christ] who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to prepare God's people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up" (Ephesians 4:12).